Fake Capitalism -- The Foundation We Are Built On.

Two things that piss me off about our capitalist culture (this is a partial list):

1. People who don’t pay what they owe.

2. Inflated reviews.

Let’s start with the first. My wife was part of the Open Spaces biennial in Kansas City. She was promised payment for her work. Of course, the organizers promised payment to many artists without having raised the funds to pay the artists. Now that the show is over and the fundraising did not meets its goal, the artists all get haircuts. Tanya has yet to find out how much hers is, but suffice it to say, it will not be what she was promised.

What happened to her is no different that what goes on in capitalism every day. Look no further that Donald Trump. As a developer, Trump is famous for not paying his subcontractors (though he is hardly alone). I have been around business and construction long enough to know that a lot people on the lower tier get shat on. It is what capitalism is about — not paying what you owe is a way of cutting expenses.

Where we are at with capitalism is that productivity is high enough that supply is always greater than demand. The only way things get built is to artificially pump up demand. We do this by offering tax abatements, refunds, creative financing and by fucking our subs. In the case of Open Spaces, the subs happen to be artists. I suspect the organizers got paid off the top.

Now comes the rub — most of the artists won’t speak out because they think it will prevent them from getting something in the future. I bet Trump has dangled the next big project in front of a recently fucked sub before.

As for the second, I wrote a review on AirBnB today. I gave her five stars ,which is the only acceptable rating. Anything else is a failure.. I know, I gave a guy four stars once and pissed him off. On-line reviews could be meaningful, but the standard are so skewed toward five stars so that average and above gets five and shitty gets less If I were truly honest this place would have been 3-4 stars. It was clean, the house rules were slightly excessive. Tanya thought the hot water wasn’t hot enough, though I never experienced a problem. In short, it was fine, but not extraordinary. I don’t think that’s worth five stars, but I need to be in line with how others rate and that makes it five stars.

Delays, Dumplings and a Couple of Good Walks

Our planned five day holiday visit to New York and Pennsylvania turned into seven days thanks to an early snow storm in Kansas and Missouri. We had some pretty decent Chinese food, some pretty mediocre Italian food and a few other things thrown in. Here’s the scorecard:

Italian: IIII

Crepes: I

Chinese: II

Sushi: I

Diner: IIII

Azeri: I

Ecuadorian: I

The four Italian meals include two pizzas and two lasagnas. The slice at Rocco’s in some forgettable place in NJ was pretty good. The Pizza Sam near LaGuardia was the definition of meh. The NJ lasagna in Elizabeth was meh. The NY lasagna was better.

Jammin’ Crepes in Princeton was good enough. Not great, but not terrible.

Chinese: The Philly Chinese was fine. The Chinese we had in Queens was excellent. We ate a dumpling place the Chinatown of Flushing. Queens has more Chinese residents than either Manhattan or Brooklyn and has essentially three Chinatowns. So, getting excellent Chinese food is not difficult.

Sushi: A tradition in the family of going to a place in Lancaster on the eve of Thanksgiving. Wasabi never disappoints. Never wows either. It is functional sushi.

Diners. We ate four meals in diners, two in the same diner. I love Neptune in Lancaster. The Apple Dumplings are great. Avoid the scrapple because it’s scrapple. We also ate at the Buccaneer in Queens. A strange place that is unique and worth it. while a diner, it simply won’t be duplicated elsewhere. The vibe a bustling funeral parlor in the best possible way. And finally, Clark’s in Brooklyn. It was good, but ordinary.

Azeri: After a long morning walk that took us from the hotel near the Staten Island Ferry in Manhattan through Prospect Park in Brooklyn, we found this gem on Yelp. It is called Old Baku. Not much English is spoken here. The bread, the lamb kebob, the plov, the tea, the cotony (phoneticish) were all lovely. This was probably our favorite meal of the trip. We like to try new things and like it even more when we like it.

Ecuadorian: We ordered delivery from the hotel in Queens. We had ceviche and chicken cutlets in a lemon sauce. We ate from the containers and with our hands. No silverware or plates were provided.

Our fun days were spent walking the outer boroughs. We had Saturday mostly free and spent it walking about ten miles from the hotel through Prospect Park. You see so much more of a city on foot.

On Monday, an unplanned day, we had a walk about in Queens and again clocked about 10 miles. We walked through an Ecuadorian neighborhood to a Chinese neighbor hood, and back through a Russian neighborhood. Fun to see it all.

How To Be Accepting

This post is borne out of some reflection following a Thanksgiving spent with family. A Brother-in-Law is a homophobe and a transphobe and phobic of just about anything he doesn’t understand. Now, to be clear, this post is not about how to accept haters into your life. At most, haters should be given tolerance — but never acceptance.

What I am interested in is how to accept those outside the norm that you don’t understand. Whether it’s homosexuality or transgender or asexuality or something else that you don’t understand, the right answer is not to reject this gender or orientation out of fear. To do so, you also reject the person and people should not be thrown away.

When Alison told us that she was trans, we didn’t understand it or know how to react and were certainly not ready to accept. We also knew that we had to, because we could not reject this child. So, we continued to love her. We treated her with kindness. And we worked toward understanding and acceptance. I think it is going well.

As for the Brother-in-Law, he’s a no-it-all jackass with no interest in understanding or acceptance. These qualities are irredeemable. He will continue to see the surface of people and make judgments on that basis.

Thoughts on Aging

At some point, most people deal with aging parents. As I write this, Mom fell this week and went into the hospital. She has now been discharged from that hospital to an acute rehab hospital. She is expected to be there 7-10 days. After that, she will go to a long-term care facility for a bit as we are traveling and can’t be there for her.

When we return, we are at crossroads. Do we (a) let her go home and live alone, or (b) leave her in assisted living? At this point, I would say she is walking that fine line. The rational me says she should stay in assisted living. The reasons are as follows:

1. Better care, prepared meals, someone to watch over her.

2. Better social environment. She won’t be isolated.

3. More exercise and physical therapy.

4. All of this should lead to prolonged life.

On the other hand:

1. She wants to be at home.

2. She could keep her dog.

3. She will be more isolated, not eat as well, etc.

4. This, in my mind will lead to a shortened life span.

I think this should be a fairly easy decision, but at this point, it’s not mine to make. That’s my epiphany — it’s not my decision. I think some changes need to be made at the margins regardless of which direction we go, but quality of life is unique to the individual. The decision is harder than it was earlier.

More Thoughts on Parenting

This seems odd that I should spend so much time reflecting on parenting. Alison, my only child is 22. At this point, college is in the past. Graduate school is on the back burner. Just working at Starbuck’s and living with friends in St. Louis. And this is where it gets hard for me. I want her to thrive and be something great — not waste her life at Starbucks. I have tried to nudge in that direction with no success. With a serious medical condition that requires expensive treatment, a job with health insurance is really important. This is what keeps me up at night.

I listened to Rick Steves podcast yesterday and he interviewed a woman who moved to Germany with her young children. She described how Germans parent differently than Americans. She described how, in the park she was the only one hovering over the kids. The attitude of German parents was to let the kids be free and discover and explore and learn. Basically, the philosophy is that kids learn best from kids. i think that i have always agreed with this philosophy and let my child explore and learn and not be over-protected or shielded from the world.

In keeping with the German philosophy, if you give your child the tools to be successful, you have to trust them to make the best decisions for them. This is where parenting becomes difficult. If she’s happy working at Starbucks in St. Louis, I have to respect that. I have to allow her to make her own decisions, if I truly trust my own parenting philosophy. This never ends.

Reading List

I have spent a fair amount of time this fall planning a trip for next fall. I will resist the urge to book anything for a while in case it doesn’t come to fruition. Also, because I tend to like to plan and book things in advance and I would like a little more spontaneity in the trip. That being said, this is the very tentative itinerary (I actually have this in a nice easy-to-read spreadsheet, but it won’t copy and paste easily here in a readable format):

Kazakhstan: Fly into Astana, spend a day and take the night train to Almaty. 3-4 days in Almaty.

Kyrgyzstan: Tour from Almaty to Karakol. 2 days in Karakol taking in the Dungan culture, then on to Bishkek for a couple of days. Fly to Osh for 2 days.

Uzbekistan: Cross the border from Osh and go to Andijon and if time permits on to Tashkent. Spend one night in Tashkent and take the train to Samarkand for two nights. Train to Bukhara for two nights. Train to Urgench and taxi to Khiva for one night. Train to Nukus for two nights (probably not worth it, but logistics appear to require it. Train back to Kazakhstan.

Kazakhstan: Train and/or taxi to Aktau. Aktau is a port town on the Caspian Sea. I will give a boat about one chance. As intriguing as it sounds to go by ship across the Caspian, it sounds anti-climatic. Ship traffic is irregular. Stock answer appears to be tomorrow. So, if there’s a boat there when I arrive, I’ll get on it for the next 30+ hours for the ride to Baku. Otherwise, I go to the airport and fly in 50minutes.

Azerbaijan: Baku for 4-5 days. Lots to see in the City and surrounding area. On the way out, take the train to Sheki and spend the night in the Caravanserai. Then on to Georgia.

Georgia: 4-5 days in Tblisi and the surrounding area. Bus or train to Armenia.

Armenia: 2-3 days in Yeravan. Then on to Tatev, taking in some sites along the way. Armenia is the world’s oldest Christian nation, so lots of monasteries. There’s also the disputed region of Nagorno-Karabakh that’s a possibility, and Lake Sevan. Back to Georgia (Georgia and Iran are the only land border crossings.)

Georgia: A night in Tbilisi and then on to Batumi and a border crossing to Turkey.

Turkey: A bus to Cappadocia for a couple of days and then on to Istanbul for a week +/-. Fly to Greece.

Greece: Athens? Haven’t put much thought into it and can’t get that excited about Greece. Maybe I will change my mind or drop Greece. On to Italy.

Italy interest me. Originally I was just going to base out of Milan for a week or so (cheap flights). Now, I am considering starting further south (Naples is a possibility) and working my way up. I could also see Rome and/or Florence. The Vatican is a possibility, though I need to pace myself on churches. I also want to visit San Marino as I have kind of a pet interest in microstates.

Leaving Italy: Rent a car in Milan and drive to Switzerland. spend a night somewhere like Lucerne. Drive to Liechtenstein and have lunch. Liechtenstein is too expensive to spend much time in so drive over to Germany to spend the night. Drive to Luxembourg the next day and spend the night. spend one night in Lyon and head to Monaco. Eventually find my way back to Milan to return the car and get on the bus.

France: Marseille for a week +/-. Bus or train to Spain via Andorra.

Andorra: I said i had a pet interest in microstates. And on to Valencia for a week +/-.

Spain: Valencia.

Portugal: Take the train to Lisbon or Porto. Fly home from Portugal.

All this leads us to books. These are the books i hope to have read by the time i leave:

1. Kazakhstan: Aitmatov, “The Day that lasts more than 100 years”

2. Kyrgyzstan: Aitmatov, “Jamilla”

3. Uzbekistan: Alexander, ‘A Carpet Ride to Khiva”

4. Azerbaijan: Said, “Ali and Nino”

5. Georgia: Chiladze, “Avelum”

6. Armenia: Bohjelian, “The Sandcastle Girls”

7. Nagorno Karabakh; de Waal, ‘Black Garden”

8. Turkey: Shafak, “The Bastard of Istanbul”

9. Greece: Gage, “Eleni”

10. Italy: Forrester, “A Room with a View”

11. Switzerland: Twain, “A Tramp Abroad”

12. Liechtenstein: Harrer, “Seven Years in Tibet”

13. Luxembourg: Pavone, The Expats”

14. France: Gary, “The Life Before Us”

15. Andorra: Cameron, “Andorra”

16. Spain: Caubre, “Confessions”

17. Portugal: Mercier, “Night Train to Lisbon”

That’s about it for now.

Religion Ugh!

So much of what I see going on in public policy today: Immigrant detention, ignoring the environment, racial injustice, voter suppression are policies championed by the most ardently religious among us.

It's things like this that make it very hard for me to contain my contempt for religion. I don't blame God -- I blame people. The vast majority of those supporting these inhumane policies are the most religious among and I want no part of this.

Forced migration, detention, internment. It was wrong when Hitler did it, it was wrong when Roosevelt did it, it was wrong when Jackson did it. No one can look to their better selves and see this as a conclusion.

If this is what your God tells you to do, you should find a new God.

The Beginning of a Theory

To engage in a bit of navel gazing, this rings true.

There is an element of cruelty or meanness that undergirds much of Christianity in these United States. I see it in family members, friends, caretakers, acquaintances. I was raised in it. It's judgmental and mean-spirited. It is sometimes disguised at the Protestant Work Ethic: It only values people by how hard they work. If someone is viewed as a hard worker, they are entitled to the country's great riches. If not, they can go die in a ditch.

This translates to overvaluation of the wealthy, because they earned it -- they must work hard. Conversely, the poor get nothing which is what they deserve, because they are lazy.

Of course, none of this is true. In this society, few work as hard for as little as immigrants. Yet, they are scorned and put down because in our cruel nature we have convinced ourselves that they are lazy and are only here to soak up government benefits (when not stealing our jobs).

Conversely, few work as little as the wealthy. As studies have shown the most likely indicator that you will be a billionaire is having a father who is a billionaire (sorry Tiffany, it's not a 1:1). Yet, we convince ourselves that they worked hard and earned and are worthy.

Now, Trump certainly epitomizes cruelty and is not overtly Christian. He was raised in the church of Norman Vincent Peale. The gospel according to Peale descended from this strain of Christianity as did Richard Nixon -- it became the underpinning of modern conservative thought.

So, yes, Trump espouses the politics of cruelty and many American lap it up because it's the theology they were raised on. It's a lot more complicated than that, but it's the beginning of a theory.

How to be a Good Father in Difficult Times

I don’t know. I mostly feel like a failure.

That’s not to say that I am not proud of Alison. It just means that I don’t know what to do and I feel like she feels like I have done something wrong.

So, here I sitting writing on a blog that no one reads because i haven’t told anyone about it, trying to work out my feelings in this existential crisis.

I worry about health issues, employment issues, about being driven away. What will happen when she ages out of our healthcare in a few years and doesn’t have healthcare that will pay for Crohn’s meds?

Do I back off, do I cling?

My hair is finally going gray which should make Tanya happy.

Jobs versus Callings

I have always had a job, never a calling. I have never felt compelled to do anything by a force greater than myself. I don’t think a calling is necessarily religious, though it can be. I think my brother had a calling to be a journalist. I think my wife has a calling to be an artist.

Though I have only known Tanya about ten years, I can see that art has always been a part of her. Her art has changed over the years, from drawing to painting to textile to beads to carving and some things I am sure I am leaving out. It is a daily necessity for her to make something. She goes to the studio daily and creates something. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad or something that is an experiment or prototype for future work. The act is necessary for her.

I don’t have that. I don’t feel compelled to do what I do, never have. I don’t feel as though I missed my calling and if I had just fallowed a different path, I would have been like her. I think that some have this innate desire and others don’t. A calling is an ability to focus. What I have is ADHD of life. I think I have beaten it down some by changing jobs, but staying in the same profession. That’s allowed me to make more money and not have to constantly being starting over. I think constantly trying something new would suited me better. I think that’s why it’s coming to head. I just can’t continue to do the same thing. Even the podcasts are getting boring.

God give me the strength to keep my head down for one more year (actually more like 11 months).