I have always had a job, never a calling. I have never felt compelled to do anything by a force greater than myself. I don’t think a calling is necessarily religious, though it can be. I think my brother had a calling to be a journalist. I think my wife has a calling to be an artist.

Though I have only known Tanya about ten years, I can see that art has always been a part of her. Her art has changed over the years, from drawing to painting to textile to beads to carving and some things I am sure I am leaving out. It is a daily necessity for her to make something. She goes to the studio daily and creates something. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad or something that is an experiment or prototype for future work. The act is necessary for her.

I don’t have that. I don’t feel compelled to do what I do, never have. I don’t feel as though I missed my calling and if I had just fallowed a different path, I would have been like her. I think that some have this innate desire and others don’t. A calling is an ability to focus. What I have is ADHD of life. I think I have beaten it down some by changing jobs, but staying in the same profession. That’s allowed me to make more money and not have to constantly being starting over. I think constantly trying something new would suited me better. I think that’s why it’s coming to head. I just can’t continue to do the same thing. Even the podcasts are getting boring.

God give me the strength to keep my head down for one more year (actually more like 11 months).